Titantic
by sex in the media
Summary: A tale of two lovers that only ends in tragedy.


Now, for 13 Summers, Timothy Treadwell, as we all knew watched Melissa eat her babies, and studied poop for hours at a time.  
This is the true story of how it all went down that dreadful Alaskan summer.

In the woods one morning, Timothy Treadwell was talking to Melissa, one of his bears. He said, "Melissa, why do you eat your babies?" Then Melissa said, "I'M GONNA EAT YOU." Suddenly, Timothy Treadwell found an escape pod and got as far away as possible. The next morning Timothy Treadwell woke up. Timothy Treadwell then stepped outside his tent. He looked around and said, "Gee, it's still dark." Then he saw Melissa.

"RAWR," she rawred. Then she swiped Timothy Treadwell in the face, and his ear was bruised.

"OW," he cried out and melissa hit him again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

Soon after, Timothy Treadwell had enough of the swiping, so he turned into Superman, and started beating the holy fuckING HELL out of Melissa. But suddenly... MELISSA TRANSFORMED INTO GARY BUSEY AND ATE HIM ALIVE. Then he ate Melissa's babies.

Then out of nowhere, Amy turned into Wonder Woman and tried to beat Gary Busey senseless with a frying pan. It was no use, Gary Busey took advantage and tossed Wonder Woman 35836 feet away.

Then John Freeman had an apple.  
Then John Freeman went back to where Gordon Freeman was last seen.  
Then John Freeman shot a rocket launcher at the boss and won.

Then Spiderman came out of the bushes and stabbed Wonder Woman with a spork.

The fight was thought to have been over by then. But suddenly, the soul of Gary Busey rose from Melissa's body, and shat on her chest.

Timothy Treadwell's body was never really recovered. Gary Busey is alive and well. Melissa was so horribly humiliated that she ate glass and died in a fire.

The End.

The Moral of this story is: GARY BUSEY LOVES TRAINS. 


End file.
